What Time I Have

The hot days of summer are returning once again.  Taking it easy with my mind these days, since there’s so much I want to get done yet feel like I have so little time to do so.  Dreams.  They’re something else, right?  Never really thought too much about them, well, not for a long time actually.  It’s all a blur to me, some times.  Day dreaming and dreaming when you’re asleep.  Some times, just some times, I can’t tell the difference.  What a horrible conclusion.  All this time I thought I had it all under control with what I wanted in life.  This life.  I had so much inner strength then, back when things weren’t going as planned or life taken out of my control.  I resisted so much, that it had left me so bare inside.  Nothing scars me so much as to wonder if I have the time to recover it all.

It was music that kept me moving.  Through all the mud that would drag you down, the people that faked their way to earn your trust, and even your own web of lies.  Despite all that had happened in the past, it was music that helped me the most to keep me motivated.  Mainly power metal, though.  Big fan of that genre.  Still, it kept me sane and alive this long, right?  Maybe a third right will make it all go wrong.

There really isn’t much effort, or shouldn’t be on your part, to ask me anything about myself.  I can be an open book, but even then, it’s all rhyme and questions to you.  You gotta really take your time to know me, for I know myself and it’s harder to remember every time I open that book.  I’ve read it so many times, that I start filling in the blanks with false memories or incorrect information.  God, I feel old.  Is it so hard to ask for a normal life?  Just being happy with the gal of my dreams and living the good life.  I’ve already traveled the world doing so.  Is that not enough?  Do I need to reach the stars as well?  Make the earth tremble?  Well, I guess I have the time to do all that, at some point.

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